This year we invited a special friend to eat bollur with us on Bolludagur. The bollusaur is a shy little fellow. We asked him just a handful of questions without overdoing it, for courtesy’s sake. He was not so eager to answer, but when I promised him an extra bolla for his trouble, he agreed rather politely to chat with us.
Mr. Bollusaur, I looked up your name on Wikipedia, but couldn’t find anything, so I honestly have no idea what you are exactly. By the way, is this your real name or a stage name?
Neither. Bollusaur is just my species. My first name is Tómas Garðar Vagnsson. Tómas and Garðar were my grandpas. I assume you don’t go around calling individuals like yourself “Mr. Human”, do you?
No, I don’t. Sorry, I will call you by your first name from now on. So tell me Tómas, why nobody cares or knows about bollusaurs?
We are usually very reserved. Unlike our cousins, we have always avoided leaving our bones and remains all over the place. The sillies deserve to be put on public display as a result. We bollusaurs are also very small, so it’s hard to notice us unless one tries very hard.
How many of you are there in Iceland?
Let me think… Five or six? I don’t know. I’m not on speaking terms with my family for divergences I am not going to share with you.
Are dinosaurs like birds? Do they really have feathers? I can’t see any on you.
We do have feathers, but you cannot see them on me now because I shave every morning. We share a certain something with birds, but in my opinion we’re much cuter.
Iceland is relatively young. Finding traces of dinosaurs here is not very likely. How did you get to Iceland in the first place?
My family came to Iceland by mail, long before I was born. I could tell you when that was, but unfortunately my memory is not what it used to be. I am sure we were not into pastry in our early evolution phases. When we got here we tried many different things: hardfiskur, lentil soup, licorice… We found we were not into any of these at all. The only food we truly liked were sweet baked products with a creamy filling. We are peculiar, I won’t deny it, but so are most animals.
How are your meals these days?
What do you like to eat, besides cream-filled pastry?
Well, to be honest, it’s not that I like to eat anything else, but I am a responsible animal and I have to have nourishment if I don’t want to die. I eat cookies, flowers and pizza. Mind, not necessarily together. I also started to appreciate lightbulbs for their crunchiness. I eat also a few other things here and there.
Can you offer any advice to Tjörnin’s ducks? It’s been reported that the City of Reykjavík or whomever is in charge is not feeding them properly.
I don’t know: what do they usually feed on? Tell them to switch to something else! Anything! Algae for instance. Nobody wants those and there are heaps. I wonder if maybe ducks could use them.
Before you go, let me ask one final question: what are you going to do now?
I’m rushing to Nóatún to look for leftovers: I’ve been told by informers they had dozens of 6-pack bollur boxes on their shelves this afternoon. I cannot let them go to waste.